A year ago, on New Year’s Eve, I was sitting alone at my
desk chatting on line with my friend, Kati, and I asked her suddenly if I could
stay with her in Rocklin if I had to move away from San Francisco. Kati replied that I needed to give her an
hour’s notice, so she could have a key made; I stared at my computer and cried,
thinking of what a great friend she was, and that I was just way too wimpy to
ever change my situation, no matter how it chipped away at my happiness day by
day.
Today, it’s a year later.
I have moved from San Francisco to Rocklin (yep, in with Kati while I
got my feet under me), bought a townhouse in Roseville, have an amazing young
man (who also happens to be my son) living with me, have a good job (but am
always looking, since I do have career ADD), and have reconnected with the best
batch of friends any woman would be lucky to have. I feel as though I have slowly climbed out of
a deep, dark pit and feel a light on me for the first time in years. It feels really good.
Looking forward to 2013, and coming from a year of total
life transition, I wish for just a few things:
Peace.
Thankfulness. And maybe just a
teensy bit of magic.
Things I have learned for myself in the past year (some
had been told to me years before):
·
To ever get anything better, you have to be
willing to give up everything you currently have (thanks, Roy, you were so
right!)
·
The movie in your head never plays; don’t let
your own spinning mind focus you so much on the “what if” that you lose touch
with the awesome reality that’s happening in front of you (thanks, Suzie)
·
Be as tolerant as you can, but NEVER tolerate
deceit, lies, or discrimination. Ever.
·
Perseverance actually works. Having OCD adds to perseverance. Therefore, sometimes having OCD is a good
thing.
·
Thank God every day for the people who are in
your life voluntarily. Family is important,
vitally important. But I have survived
this last year because of my friends, almost exclusively because of my
friends. I love every last damn one of
them. They don’t have to love me, but
somehow, miraculously, they do. That
kind of glorious mystery surely has to be a gift from God.
·
Your children keep growing. Forever and continually. Keep your eye on them, and take pride in
their accomplishments and revel in every new thing in their lives. Try as hard as you can to give them some
space, and be really happy when they want to share some of it with you. I love every shopping day I spend with my
daughter, any moment (like smoking his new pipe on the front porch on Christmas
Eve) I can get with my son-in-law, and every hour of watching stupid TV like Project
Runway while my son plays computer games on the other couch, and then suddenly
he says, “Yeah, that dress is hideous..” and goes back to his game. They are all paying attention, even in the
midst of their own lives, and that’s pretty cool.
·
Lastly, and most importantly, if something feels
wrong, it probably is. Whether you have
invested a day or a 6 ½ years, a dime, a dollar, or a grand, you can ALWAYS
start a new story.
Good luck and happiness to ALL of you while you begin to
write the next chapter of your lives.
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