Black Friday

I am spending the Thanksgiving holiday with my mother in Clearlake. For those of you who aren't familiar with the area, it's north of the Napa Valley and there isn't a whole lot here. But there is a huge lake (the largest in California, actually) and some interesting folks.

For some insane reason, I decided to go to the WalMart Black Friday sale this morning. At 5 am. My mom was going to go with me, but her heart clearly wasn't in it, and I sent her back to bed. Off I went, driving in the fog, and I arrived at the closest WalMart (about 20 minutes away) at 4:47 to find a huge line of people already standing outside the store. As I had left the house, my mother admonished me that "there are people around here who aren't from trailers" (my mom is an example of one of them) but I didn't WANT to stand in line with a bunch of classy people. If I get out of bed at 4 am to go to a WalMart, I want to be entertained by some hicks, dammit!

As I trudged along the line to get to the end, the first thing I heard was a woman saying, "You're lighting your damn jacket on fire!" and I looked over to see a guy batting at his jacket while a lit cigarette dangled from his mouth and a match fluttered to the ground. My wish had been granted.

So, I stood in line for about 15 minutes and learned some cool stuff. If you are "a total broke SOB" you are lucky because people do not ask to borrow money from you. It pays to bring your entire family to a sale like this, give each person a cart, and then plan a strategy of "divide and conquer" so as to get as many great sale items as possible. Somebody's Aunt Irene is going to really get her "come-upance" soon because Uncle Jack isn't going to stand for her drama any more.

Damn, just as I was really getting into the story about Aunt Irene, the line moved because the doors were opening. And then I realized some other cool stuff. The line was really organized, and almost nobody tried to line jump. A really nice woman who was about six feet tall and I joined forces at the huge bin of sheet sets: I found her a king set in every color, and she used her long arms to grab me the one set of full sheets there was because I just couldn't reach it (might I say this was for my mother, who didn't want to come with me! Hah!) A lady who rolled by with a BlueRay player in her cart gave me really good directions on where to find them (I got the very last one). Nobody pushed or shoved, everyone was in a decent mood, and I was out of the store by 5:23 am with everything I had gone there for.

The only thing that I wish I had now is the rest of that story about Aunt Irene....